Birth.
It's been going through my mind lately, probably due to the fact that in 10 weeks I'll be journeying down that path again, but also because the desire to become a midwife and my passion for all things "birthy" has become so strong lately. I think people are getting sick of me talking about it, so I'm going to use this blog as my outlet for all those thoughts running rampant through my mind. You'd think (even though I have this uncanny tendancy to...) I wouldn't get into trouble talking about birth of all things, but I know that some of the things I'm going to say will offend people. Birth is such a personal and intimate thing, it's impossible to please everyone, and every man and his dog have their own ideas on it. So pleeease don't take it personally. These are just my ideas and thoughts, dreams and desires, and strong opinions.
I learned a lesson today. I started chatting with someone about "birth" and inducings, and it very quickly developed into a heated debate. Which, at first, I thought was GREAT fun! I love debating issues... iron sharpeneth iron, right? You learn so many interesting things, and well... I guess debating is in my blood, along with the desire to have the last word. ;-) Anyway. It wasn't long before I noticed that things were getting a little personal, and tried to duck out of the conversation a little. It took an hour for this lady to finish what she was saying. Which was fine. She needed to get it off her chest, and really had had some awful experiences in the hospital. But, it taught me this ... no matter what I believe is true, it doesn't matter one iota when the other person has been through trauma in birth, and is struggling to understand why. And somehow, somewhere, I need to learn the best ways to respond to people like that. I literally couldn't get a word in edgeways (I tried, I really did. Especially when she said "I know, you're a "do it natural person, even at the cost of mother and baby", which is so far from the truth it's not funny. I love natural birth because of the benefits to both mother and baby. But anyway...), maybe I should have acknowledged her trauma more? Sympathised more? I'm not sure. But I'll learn, I know I will. Today I shut up, and let her talk (and talk and talk...) which was the best I could do, with what I knew.
Ah, such an interesting blog, I love it when they compell me to give my thoughts. We will never completly agree with what other people think, and when it involves a topic where both parties are equally devoted to opposite opinions it creates a moment for one of them to become "the bigger person". Thats what you did! You weren't saying you agreed, you were biting your tounge, and you were giving her the opportunity to talk when no one else probably has. Thats huge Charl, and it shows great strength of character, forget the conversation and the foolish remarks - just remember you did the right thing.
ReplyDeleteAww, thanks Wozzie!! It wasn't easy to hold my tongue, as I'm so passionate about anything pertaining to birth. But I think it will be a valuable skill to have going into midwifery one day. (James wants to look into me starting to study maybe next year!! How exciting is that?!)I'll bet Claire had to hold her tongue with me a fair few time. :-) Love you bucket!!
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