I just want to say, before I continue, that I don't really enjoy sharing what happened during these hospital births. I wish I could say that I had great experiences in the hospital, but in all honesty, I didn't. That doesn't mean to say that you won't. It all comes down to educating yourself on your birthing options, the risks involved with the medications, what your rights are as a labouring woman in their hands, and above all, your faith in your body and the way it works, alongside your faith in the Creator of your body. God designed us women to give birth naturally... it can be done. It can. And doing it is the most wonderful and fulfilling experience ever.
But anyway, back to Livvy's birth...
So we arrived at the hospital late on the Saturday night, after having 5 minute apart contractions for the past few hours. The lovely midwife who greeted us at the door was filling up the pool for me when we arrived. She was fretting because she had no idea what temperature to have the pool at (which is incredible, and made me wonder how many people actually use the pool!) (and by the way... it doesn't matter too much what temperature the pool is at during labour, as long as it's not too hot as to raise your temperature much. But for birthing, it's very important to have the water at 37degrees, so that there's no change in temp for baby coming out.). I had James with me, along with my mum, little sister, older sister and her best friend (they were both training to be nurses, and were really interested in seeing how the nurses and midwives acted). We were a merry party! :-D I walked the hallways for a little while, waiting for the pool to be ready. When we got into my room, I jumped into one of the hospital gowns and straight into the water. Looking back now, I shouldn't have got it in the water so early, as it can slow down if you're not in real active labour yet.
I spent the next little while labouring in the pool. The contractions felt really intense to me at the time, and I was vomiting alot. Finally Darryl (my midwife's backup. Remember, my midwife took the night off) came in and asked to examine me. I got out of the pool soaking wet and pulled aside the gown at the belly for her to do the heart-rate check. (I was still feeling quite modest, and there were other doctors floating in and out...). I remember her roughly pulling my gown off me completely and saying "I'd rather do it this way!". I have never felt so humiliated in my life. :-( It makes me so sad that I didn't have the guts to stand up for myself, and neither did any of my support people. She got me up on the bed to examine me, and said (quite disgustedly) "Oh, you're only 3 centimeters!!". Sigh. After she'd taken my blood pressure, my sister (Kate, the nurse in training) asked her what the result was. Kate asked very politely, and we were shocked to hear Darryl say "She's *whatever it was*, if it makes any difference to you!!". She was so rude, and clearly did not want to be there. She then said that I'm barely in labour, and she'll come back in four hours to check on me. (I don't believe she actually read my records before she started caring for me, as everyone knows a woman (especially a woman who's been in labour before) can dilate very very quickly once she's established. As it was, I had given birth and was tucked up into bed before those four hours were up!) Once she left the room, I got back into the pool and continued my labour.
Knowing what I now know, there's no doubt in my mind that the tension between the midwives and us was causing my labour to slow down. Did you know that a woman's cervix can literally close again, after dilating? It happens when she's feeling threatened and unsafe. I was definately feeling those things at that time, and I'm sure that's what contributed to such a painful first stage.
Darryl came back into the room after some time, and asked me to get out of the pool for the duration of the labour. We asked her why, and she said that she couldn't guarantee the life of my baby if I stayed in the water. Note that my blood pressure was fine, temperature was fine, waters were intact, baby heartrate was perfect, everything was fine. She'd just decided that she wanted me out.
I declined.
(hello backbone! This is the first time I'd ever said "no" to a midwife!)
I said that if I was passing all the "tests" then I'd rather stay in the water. So she came back with a huge stack of papers for me to read and sign in order to stay in the water. Unbelievable! I was having intense contractions, and almost nonstop vomiting... there was no way I was able to concentrate on silly papers! It's funny to look back on, but honestly, you could have cut the atmosphere with a knife, it was so tense in that room. :-(
My sister Kate then piped up. Kate had been in nursing training for a couple of years now, and had actually received the training that if you want a mother to do something then all you have to do is threaten the life of her child, and she will do "anything". So Kate told Darryl that what she was saying was a load of balony, and just a scare tactic (big applause for Katie please!!) I started to relax more about this point, and tune out what was going on. I knew that my big sis would take care of it for me, hehe.
Darryl started getting really really nasty to us, so we ended up requesting her to not come back into the room.
A while later our new midwife came in, Jenny. Things started to go more smoothly after that, and I began to dilate very quickly. I chose to get out of the pool (my own choice) and laboured the rest of the time kneeling upright on the bed with my head resting on the raised headboard. I felt the need for cold (looking back, I think this was to try and "numb" the stress that I'd been under in Darryls care) and my family spent their time soaking towels in ice and draping them across my back. :-) I don't remember much about the rest of the labour, only that it was very painful, and I "lost" it several times. I ended up punching poor Jenny in the nose, and then trying to name the baby after her when she realised that my gas battle was actually empty. Yes, I did have the gas again in this labour, and to be honest, with the rough beginnings and maximum stress, it was a wonderful way to escape reality for a while. During transition, I started singing. James and I have tried to remember what I sang, but to no avail. It was something like "He's got the whole world in His hands", and I'm pretty sure I sounded drunk (not that I'd know what I sound like drunk). My words were pretty slurred, and my mind was spinning. This is what natural painkillers are. When a woman is left to labour uninhibited, her body will flood with these natural hormones that relax her and get her ready for the pushing out stage! I love transition. I'd rather God's painkillers over synthetic ones any day!!
Sooo... on the bed I went, onto my back (duh. duh. duh.) and proceeded to push the little darling out. I screamed out with the first push, due to the intensity of it, but was quickly told to be quiet from the midwife. Hah! If a woman feels like screaming, let her! It wasn't a high-pitched scared scream, but more like a warrior cry. I was a bit pipped that I couldn't make any noise, but (being the good little lass that I was...) I shut up, and did what I was told. :-) Livvy was born within about 15 minutes, and laid on my chest. Bliss!! 7lb 2oz of pure bliss. :-) She was such a cutie! I was given the jab for the placenta (the things that are done routinely and just accepted as "best" amaze me!), and my family was quickly shuffled out of the door, as it was the early hours of the morning.
I felt like I'd just given birth and them Bam, everyone was gone and I was left perched on this skinny hospital bed with orders to feed Livvy-loo. I got the shakes (due to the placenta jab, I believe) and my body went into a little bit of shock. I didn't want to feed her, I wanted to sleep! She wasn't much interested in feeding either. Once we were tucked up into bed, I was able to just gaze at her little face and fall in love. And fall in love I did! Head over heels!!
I hated my hospital stay, as I was sharing a room with a lady who's baby was in NICU. She spent her hours crying, and entertaining her whanau (her huuuuge whanau). Sigh. She would walk past our curtained off little corner, and literally open the curtains and stare at us (I'd pretend to be sleeping). It was so awful, and I felt soo guilty for having a baby with no problems.
But I couldn't go home. It was so dreadful! Apparently Livvy had some meconium in the waters when my midwife broke them just before transition (if she'd left nature to do it's thing, they would have broken soon anyway. My waters always break with the first push.) It wasn't much meconium, but the hospital policy was that babies had to stay in the hospital for 48 hours if they had that "problem", for observing. I was all packed and ready to go when my first midwife stopped me and said I couldn't go. I should have put my foot down and done what I felt was right, but for the last time, I did what they wanted me to do.
Two days later, I got to go home and enjoy my sweet little bundle in peace. It was wonderful!!
Livvy's birth was a turning point for me. It showed me that midwives can just "play" you and make you do things for their convenience (not all midwives do this, by the way. I'm just saying that when you're in the hospital setting, you are putting yourself in their hands and their policies.). They don't always know what's best for your body and your baby. I started educating myself after Livvy's birth, because I knew that I couldn't let what happened, both during the pregnancy (with my first midwife's disinterest in me) and during the labour (the verbal abuse), happen again.
This birth empowered me to change the way I approached my pregnancies and my babies births. It taught me that somehow, somewhere, there has to be a more peaceful way to birth. Christian's birth is testimony to this, and I can't wait to share with you about God's blessings on it!!
I love my wife
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